Sunday, July 30, 2006

It will be okay

After a couple days, I have decided I am ready to tell you all what the doctor said on Thursday. You all deserve to know as you have been SO SUPPORTIVE and WONDERFUL.

And, you know, it will be okay. Right?

As you may know if you read this boring blog, I went to the doctor Thursday for the results of my biopsy. It shows that the part of the uterus that was biopsied has complex atypical hyperplasia, which is considered “dormant cancer” or “precancer”. This basically means that the part that was biopsied has cells (1) that are atypical and (2) multiplying very rapidly, and the line between that and cancer is basically fuzzy. It also means that it is very possible that other parts of my uterus already have the cancer, and that the mass on my ovary may be cancer. Unfortunately he won’t know for sure until he removes my uterus and the growths on my ovary and sends them out to be biopsied. Also, this means that *during* the surgery he will have to decide on whether he removes the ovaries in total and any other growths/organs that look like cancer. Basically, I am considered to have a precancer condition that has a very good chance of developing and spreading if left alone (in other words, I have the cancer cells but they have yet to spread) and there is a possibility that the cancer has already developed in other parts of the uterus and / or ovaries.

Cancer. Precancer. Dormant cancer. Atypical. All these words...

So, a hysterectomy is obviously required, along with a strong possibility that one or both ovaries will need to be removed. If any other growths are found (aside from the one on the right ovary) they will need to be removed and biopsied as well. The "good" news is that we caught this early. The prognosis for this is good once the organs are removed assuming that these cells haven't spread. There is some additional "bad" news but I won't get into that now. Too much to deal with at the moment. :(

The hyperplasia stuff is in addition to the adnomyosis, and the stage 3 endometriosis. I honestly don't think that even if I didn't have the precancer stuff I would have much of a chance to have more children like the husband would like. But this made the decision pretty easy. I mean why would I choose not to have my uterus removed at this point - it is like begging for cancer to take over my body.

Well, I can tell you one reason I don't want to have the surgeries. Jeff just started a new job and doesn't get time off for a year, so any days he takes off are unpaid. He will need to be off a few days while I am in the hospital, but after that we are going to have to hire someone to help out. "Helping out" is not easy with my kids! But maybe we can hire a nurse a couple hours a week, or something? Not sure how we are going to do this yet, financially or otherwise, but it will be okay. Right?

So, that is that. Not the worst news, but not the best. My emotions are in a whirlwind with a bunch of "what ifs" and "how come" and "why me" and such, but it will be okay. I am sure it will be okay. Really. It is all fine, and will be fine.